The time of death for the English language was 10pm IST on 08.01.2013
“rofl,brb,gtg,lmao,ttyl and LOL”
This, my friends is sadly what has become of the language of the Queen. It has been violated, brutalized, molested and beaten to death by the ‘LOL Man’. It feels like getting kicked in the nuts every time I go through my text messages or chat-histories. It’s a toxic pool of pseudo words that sound like you just barfed after eating the English language. Eat the alphabets and you would probably shit better English. The English language, as we knew it, is now a thing of the past. Language zombies have killed it, word by word, punctuation by punctuation. And the final nail in the coffin was the invention of emoticons by the laziest dimwit who thought typing words was just-too-much-work.
Every time I chat with someone who still prefers to use ‘human’ English, I save it on a word file. Just to look at it again and cry. It’s a small 10MB folder.
I would believe you if you tell me you just had a ride in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory on Santa’s unicorn but somehow I don’t buy it when you tell me you are rolling-on-the-floor-laughing-your-ass-off. As if the world already didn’t have enough people who hate grammar. We had to make it worse by spelling stuff like a mentally retarded baboon on cocaine. They say language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going. They call it the SMS language. I call it a sign of the doomsday. My theory is, nature’s evolving us into a dumber species so that she can get rid of us conveniently. As Federico Fellini once said-“A different language is a different vision of a different world”. I shudder at the thought of the kind of world it would be?
PS-To all the people who think ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ are the same, know this-every time you choose to ignore the Y and the O in YOU, a new-born baby donkey dies of a brain stroke. So please, it’s a request. Save English! Save little foals (donkey babies, if you don’t know what it means). They love you!
About the author– This article is by Anuj Sharma, a third year MBBS student at KMC, Mangalore.
Article edited by- Vyom Agarwal.