Mr A: Hey! Why the hell did you have push me?
Mr B: I didn’t do it .
Mr A: So you think I dreamt that you pushed me,huh? Well I guess you’ll have to dream that I slapped you!! (he slaps Mr.B)
Mr B: What’s your problem you idiot? I told you that I didn’t push you.
(A big fight starts between Mr A and Mr B. These two who were such good friends stop talking to each other).
What I’m trying to say is that there are several unpleasant instances in our lives where we tend to fly off the handle, scream and yell, without thinking who is on the other side. Consequence? Our on the spur actions result in somethings that we regret later. People stop talking, you feel guilty and ashamed of your self, silence fills the atmosphere – once filled with joyous sounds of chatter, strong support and friendly critical remarks.
Why all this drama? What is the need? When we develop something called peace and calm all this drama will end. In the place of fights, calm powerful yet friendly statements will be present. Guys, do you know why this is important? You see the more you fight ,the more you tend to weaken your relationship with the other person, you know why? Cause nobody likes being yelled at. Ego plays a crucial role here. Everybody has their own self-respect and dignity. ( Although the degree of it varies from person to person, it’s always there). And nobody would like another person to step on their self-respect. There will be very few people in a person’s life who will tolerate your many shades of character.
So what can you do about this? You feel so much anger towards a person that you want to murder them. But you can’t (first thing it’s illegal, second you’ll die of regret). What do you do? First of all see the situation if it’s something you can live with but still disturbs you, try having a chat with the other person about exactly how you feel. If it’s something that you disliked about their behaviour – try a friendly joke. It helps to bring your grievance into the limelight and at the same time not cause unnecessary tension.
But there are some genuine extreme cases where you feel you must express your anger by shouting, swearing, punching, kicking. At these points be sure of yourself before you do anything, think about the consequences and at the end of everything if you are sure of what you are doing, then go ahead .
And at certain points you may feel anger welling up at someone so badly that you forget what they mean to you! If that is so, don’t be too proud to say that you are sorry, because the person on the other side means a great deal to you. Set aside your ego or that you are right or the other person is right, as the quote from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham goes “It takes a great heart to say sorry and an even greater heart to forgive”. If it does not work out and you couldn’t keep your anger in check, do what you can, hope that things will get back to normal. Most of the time it does, rarely it doesn’t. Either way life goes on.
But any how guys try not to destroy good relations because of stupid reasons – anger being one. Good people are hard to find and to have them a part of your life is even harder, so just like a lucky charm, hang on to it, try not to let it break.
Remember Mr Amitabh Bachchan’s statement “Hate is like a poison which consumes the possessor rather than any body else”.
Same goes for anger.
So stay calm, cool and confident.