Oh MAA God!

Jai Shri Radhe Maa. Jai Choti Maa. Jai Talli Baba.

I am a Radhe Maa bhakt. I am a true devotee of Her Holiness. I am here to defend her from all those baseless allegations that the news hungry media has spread like wildfire. I will systematically prove to you that Maa is pure and pious, unlike many of you who have been spewing hatred against her on the social media.

Here are a few reasons that explain my true devotion for Radhe Maa:

– I have too much time: Sure, I could spend my time in tons of productive activities like science, business or watching cat videos on YouTube. But instead I like to spend that time watching Radhe Maa sermons and defending her against you non-believers in this Kalyug. While you toil away your life to build a career (lol), I know that if I pray hard enough, one day I will get a pot of gold from the ever-glowing Radhe Maa herself.

– My mom dropped me as a kid: Okay this one is just a family joke but sometimes I think it is true. I mean people keep calling me a superstitious moron with substantially low intelligence! There has to be some reason for it. I like to believe that I could have hurt myself really bad when my mom dropped me, but thanks to Radhe Maa I am well and healthy. I will never drop Radhe Maa from my lap.

– Finding real solutions to problems is such a cliché: I mean come on! Who wants to patiently go through actual problems and build towards a long-term solution? Isn’t it easier to just dance like a retard along with the youngest looking 50 year old I have ever seen (no make-up)? Just put all your problems on your respective gurus and matas! After all the easiest way to solve a problem is to create a bigger problem.

– Yo Mata So Honest: She is so childlike and honest whenever you are allowed to ask her questions. She openly told the media that her son is in Thailand shooting for a movie called ‘Ishq Dot Com’ (can’t wait). She clearly told that her bahus are from royal families and she doesn’t mix up with poor people like her complainant. She has deep political and Bollywood contacts that she isn’t hiding from anyone. What else do you want people?

– Everybody lies (Totally original line bdw): The advertisements you see, the people updating on social media, the magic show you pay to get fooled, the people around you and sometimes even you to yourself. Everyone is lying to you. So why are you so offended all of a sudden when you see a different avatar of Radhe Maa. I mean after Nirmal, Sathya Sai, Nithynanda etc you clearly saw it coming. The people in this country like to believe that there is something divine and supernatural in every person. So why not celebrate that fact?

At least she is not like Asaram Bapu who has been accused of so many…Oh Sh*t! I mentioned Asaram’s name. BANG! BANG!