Hello there ! If you’re reading this , let me tell you; we are on the same team. So welcome to this group of Misfits. Why are you here you ask? Even though you have been this good girl/boy all through your life, been nice and helpful to people yet never had a particular support system ( excluding your parents perhaps, ’cause the kind of have to) to fall back on ?
Our world perpetuates many things; may it be via media, age old stereotypes or customs. One has to behave a certain way, wear and look a certain type at a certain age and likewise.Oh and don’t even get me started on the judgement passed on the basis of one’s appearance (that’s a rant for another time). And God forbid if you aren’t able to conform to that certain mould, you absolutely must search for others like you and band together with them to survive. What a load of pickled earthworms (~crap)! There will be a thousand Tumblr quotes saying you should celebrate your individuality, love yourself and be happy being with yourself and so on. But it’s not that easy always is it? We Misfits don’t really want to blend in always, we do celebrate our uniqueness and are perfectly fine being on our own on most of the days. But sometimes, it is hard. Sometimes you need a few people around you to be there with you celebrating, to go out after a tiring week, to talk and laugh when times are trying and difficult. Basically, we are all strong and independent, and don’t need people to help us, as much as we sometimes need them to have fun with and share a few deep chuckled laughs. And we also have a bit of ego, it feels shameful to go ask people who are already a group; if you can join in with them. Even though it seems like a little matter, but if hurts us and reminds us of the loneliness we have managed to keep at bay for this long.
I am no expert in Psychiatry or anything actually for that matter. But I have been there many times and it sucks badly every single time. A downward spiral sets in your mind, questioning your whole personality. Am I that bad? Do I come off so strong/weak? Was I blind this whole time? And more often than not, the brain tends to accept the least positive answer: “Yes, there’s definitely something wrong with me.”
Let me rectify that sentence for you, maybe something is a little different about you. Maybe you don’t like to pretend, maybe you don’t like to drink alcohol, maybe your idea of fun is discussing books and music while they want to go hang out in pubs. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what they do, it’s just that you don’t necessarily want to do those things. A lot of us are there, still drifting on as individuals considered as “freaks” or “weirdos” by the normal folk. So, to every weirdo/freak/Too-Strongheaded/Too-Opinionated/Too-Emotional/Too-Whatever you are (unless you are an unkind, ungrateful and selfish little piece of rat-crap), I’ll say this : Do not give in/up.
These few times when you desperately need somebody will be very alluring indeed, but stay put and don’t give in to the pressure. Sure, it’s not wrong to ask someone if you can join them, but if they don’t want you there, don’t be disheartened. And who knows, maybe going to that party and sitting alone, you might be joined by someone just like you; alone and not a part of any “squad” and hit it off with that person. But if it is really bothering you, if you are really feeling hurt and lonely, you have to be brave and speak out. Seek help, talk to someone who you can trust ( And yes ofcourse you should talk to your parents about it), don’t let it destroy you from within. No need to put on a happy mask when you feel like death inside. It’s okay to cry, hell I’ll say wallow out like a two year old baby if that helps, but please tend to the hurt. And if someone reaches out to you too, be kind and help them out. We humans are genetically programmed to belong to a community and need to have someone to lean on. So it’s alright to sometimes lose your marbles and want to hold someone’s hand. I am sorry if this letter has not provided you the solutions to your problems. But I hope that now you know you aren’t the only one feeling this way. Try out something new, join a new activity, or go help out at the local shelter. But most importantly, don’t feel badly about yourself and ask for help if this loneliness makes you feel depressed. You are important and in a world full of masks, you with the true colours are very much needed. Let’s stick around and make the most of this life folks.
Sincerely and forever yours,
P.S. Check out this site The World Needs More Love Letters for reaching out and gettin’ some love from around the world.