The Six Benefits of Exams

Technically there are no benefits of exams and the article should probably end here itself, but here’s a sarcastic approach giving a low-down of the possibly good things that come out of the process of giving exams :
1. Weight loss
Move over Atkins Diet and vigorous gym workouts, bigger the portion to be studied- greater the stress-  smaller the portions of your meals- looser the waistband of your jeans.
2. Center of Attention
Exams are a foolproof method of seeking attention. Just pointedly peep into your neighbor’s answer sheet once and three hours of the invigilator’s undivided attention on you is guaranteed. Even a little black dress wouldn’t be able to make you the cynosure of all eyes so easily.
3. Parental affection
Its the only time of the year when your father excuses you for reaching home late at night, because he assumes that you have whiled away your hours in the college library and not in an apparently ‘worthless’ Ranbir Kapoor movie.
4. Perfect excuse
Good enough reason to give to a person that you are trying to ignore and are not interested in talking to – ‘ I am in the middle of exams, sorry couldn’t call back/reply to your messages’. Perfectly understandable and easily bought ! Phew !
5. Unrestricted phone usage
Huge phone bills and endless hours spent on the phone are all excused by simply stating that ‘ I was discussing the previous years’ papers’ / potential important questions that can come up in the exams and their respective answers’. There’s absolutely no proof to show that you spent only one-fourth of the phone call doing the above. Rest of the call was spent on more important stuff like Gossiping.
6. Late nights
You may have to beg your parents for permission to a new year party cum sleepover at your friend’s place, but during exams you just need to inform them once that you will be staying over at your friend’s place because ‘group studies’ will help you understand that ‘difficult’ subject better. Permission apart, you may also be rewarded with extra pocket money to eat out because “You have been studying so hard and need a break” !