The True Essence of FRIENDSHIP

Having lived away from home and having studied in different environments and settings, right down to joining university in a place far from home, one tends to meet people of different backgrounds, casts, cultures and beliefs. The true beauty of nature lies in the dynamic nature of man to be able to adapt and adjust to different settings and create bonds and relationships with people of diverse ideas and mindsets.

Coming down to this week’s opinion piece, I decided to take a look around me and at life where it currently stands. Studying far from home, surrounded by different yet so similar people, and having to undergo the hardships of growing up and maturing combined with the tough nature of the course we are enrolled in, one tends to need support, care, compassion and a shoulder to lean on. That brings me to the topic in mind, the beauty and essence of friendship.

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There are probably a million quotes on friendship and from the ancient ages of the stone age down to current times, man has found solace and comfort in indulging and mingling and ‘fitting in’ into a group of people who may share similar interests, outlooks or beliefs.

I personally have met very different people in my life and believe that every human being was granted an essential element of being special. It just takes the right people to see that element and be drawn to it. So anyway, we come here, we talk to people, we hang out with some, we celebrate birthdays, buy gifts, have meals together, have deep conversations, share secrets and eventually form bonds with people from a different setting, people who we then refer to as friends, and some even further as family.

But the question arises, what makes a true friend? Is a friend defined by the amount of time we spend with them? Or are friends those people of our social status and quo who we are automatically classified to be with by the general public?581465_10151785556730413_353274673_n

Of course, how we choose our friends is subjective. For some, a person of a similar cast or state may be considered such, for another, one who calls proxies for him may be a friend. Others are friends based on habits and similar entertainment interests, be it alcohol, smoking or Fifa. But I believe that the deepest and most important criteria in choosing a friend is to seek out and look at the heart of the individual present before you. They say a friend in need, is a friend indeed. Yes, definitely, the person you reach out to when in need does fall under this category. But is that it?

As I mentioned, different backgrounds and different pasts. These tend to shape individuals into behaving in certain ways, speaking in certain ways, probably not having similar inhibitions as compared to another, but does that make them a bad person? It’s not that behavior doesn’t matter, but if people were to hang out or choose friends based on how they behave alone, we may find it difficult to actually make any friends because who decides what is right and what is wrong? The egoistic nature of man makes every man believe what they do and how they act is the right way or is their god given nature. So instead of being judgmental and standing out believing we may be superior, I believe gaining closure to people and trying to help them and change some negatives in them while learning and adapting and changing our own negatives is the true crux of friendship and that is all that should matter. The heart of a man and the deep-set nature should be the determinant, for there are some people as silky as cotton outside but with the devil lurking inside, while others are very rough around the edges externally, but bear hearts of gold.

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In the end though, the memories and moments you create are what stay on forever and so therefore having the right set of people around to do that with you is what matters. People will always question our choice of friends based on differences in natures and behavior, but what we feel and perceive is what matters the most.

Another important reason I chose this topic today is because it is so sad to notice and see how in our setting and society today, back stabbing and slandering our own ‘friends’ has become the most common of our pass times. Where we smile and chat with a ‘friend’ when with them, but do not think twice before criticizing them and slandering them and spilling out secrets and more when they are not around? This forces one to look at himself and wonder whether we truly are what a friend is supposed to be.

In the end of the day, among the handful of people who occupy your most recent call logs, share your deepest secrets, occupy most of your Facebook photos, spend the most time with you, and the ones who fall under the general public’s opinion as being your friends like the Trimurti (011 batch) or likewise, we must ask ourselves, who among them are true friends? And are we really true friends to them or are we just among the hundred other matlabi’s lying in their wake?

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Food for thought for the week, my dearest Friends! 🙂


 

About Hussein Karim 29 Articles
Hailing from Tanzania, I am a Medical Student in KMC Mangalore and the editor of 'The Apuesto Opinion' and the 'KMC Mangalore' columns. Armed with an open mind, a revolutionary soul and the pen name 'Apuesto', I write to air my views on life, youth, religion, sports, college, gossip, contemporary issues, current affairs, and everything in between. The posts echo my heartfelt sentiments and project advice and counsel from my experiences. Feel free to look around and follow the column weekly and don't forget to share your thoughts. Cheers! :)