I woke up due to the vibration of my cell and looked at the screen sleepily.
4:17 – You have a new message, it flashed.
In that one moment, everything came back to me- all the fights, endless conversations, drama, hugs, kisses, feeling his breath close to myself and all the time spent with him. It almost felt as if, he was right in front of me, smiling. Suddenly, someone turned on the lights and I returned to my senses.
How could I smile while thinking about him? Not after he had ditched me in front of everyone! What did he want from me now? Was he checking whether I was still crying for him or not? All sorts of questions started running through my mind.
I took up my phone and started reading the message. He was apologizing for everything he had done and asking me to forgive him. A sudden gush of anger ran through my body. How could he even think of that after all he had said and done to me?
After a really long conversation full of tears, shouting and yelling I once again laid on my bed thinking. Yes, the tears had dried but their marks were still there. He was gone, but all those beautiful memories were still there, right in my heart. I could not understand how I could still love him. I had hatred for him yet love dominated that feeling and for this, even I had no answer.
Months had passed but that feeling was still there, killing me every second .Is this why people say “No matter how much you try to forget someone, you can never forget the love you had for him.” Love, I guess is not temporary, it leaves a permanent impression on you, which stays forever. You can neither forget it nor erase it. But this time, I won’t fall apart .This was for sure .I could not afford to go through all the humiliation of begging him again. Maybe, it was my ego but it made me feel stronger at that time. Yes, love was still there but how could I forgive him again? And what for? So that he leaves me again. No, I had made my mind to move on.
In that particular moment, I felt so relieved. It was as if some heavy weight had been lifted off my mind .I was free again, free from all the guilt, worries and bad memories. Only love remained, with all the happy memories which made me strong enough to get on with my life.
I could see the sun rising up through my window. Maybe, it was symbolic of the beginning of a new life and a new journey…………..
People say, “Love hurts a lot.” but I now feel that love never hurts us , it is the most beautiful feeling in the world, only if we look at it that way! So be happy, not only when you fall in love but also when you fall out of it, because of all the amazing memories it gave you! Be grateful to it and cherish each and every moment of it.
Keep loving! 🙂
About the Author: Apoorva Walia is a first year student at MCODS, Mangalore.
Edited by: Vyom Agarwal