I am Simply Stuck…

It is said that love knows no limits. It changes you inside out.

Before I came to college, I thought that love was nonsense. How can somebody waste his time, money and energy on some girl? Indeed how stupid can people be!!!! It has been 2 years ever since and trust me, my opinion has undergone a radical change. Like everyone else I had come to this esteemed institution as a geek, to study and make it big. And here I am, looking back at how my world turned upside down when I saw her. Its superlative how strong feelings this girl evokes in me. Somebody rightly said, “Don’t fall in love, rise in it.” Today, when I talk about myself and something so close to me I feel I have changed a lot. I know that ever smiling face no more exists but 10 years down the line, I am sure I will have lots to cherish.

All of us fall in love at some point in life. To love is a basic human instinct. Yes indeed we do and most of the times we grow out of it. But sometimes people don’t. Unfortunately, I belong to the second class. I am one of the types who get stuck. I saw her and I knew she is the one.

It didn’t take me long to realize that this girl is different. Then, rejection came my way. I felt that once I have been rejected I will get on with my life. But it didn’t happen. I felt alcohol would help, but it didn’t. I tried so many other things to get over her and failed every single time.

Today, I have quit everything knowing that nothing would help.

At times I find my emotions so strong that I feel like going down on my knees and telling her how much I feel for her. Alas! I can’t. I know that words would fail. The tongue wouldn’t articulate and things that have to be said would never be said. Yes, every time I see her I know, that my heart is there in the centre. I know where exactly it pains. I know how hard an organ of the size of my fist can pound at the very site of someone you love. I know how that someone special can make your heartbeat race past its capacity. I know how wonderful it feels when you see her number flash on your cell phone.

I have tried things, not that I haven’t; to shake her off my mind but she doesn’t go, that smell still lingers in my memory. I tried to go out with other girls but wasn’t able to. There was always this realization that something was wrong. But I wanted to show it to her -in vengeance. I couldn’t. And then I learnt I don’t have to, there is no need to, I would have to live with this.

Today when I entered the library, I saw her leave. I know, not many people like her looks. She is not the kind that would set your blood rushing but she does it to me. It’s not my fault. If you walk on the street, you would find scores of pretty faces better than her, on any given day but none that would evoke the same feelings in me. I know that. I have seen her eat ice-cream and there is nothing tidy about it, but believe me I love her when she does that too.

I know that I am stuck. I know that I would never be able to come out of it. That is because I don’t want to. That smell lingers on.

While you read this piece please don’t wonder who this person is. Look around and you would easily find people like me. Look at your own past and you might find that you had been the same for some time… until you moved on. It’s just that I have got stuck.

About the author: The author prefers to remain anonymous
Edited by: Vyom Agarwal

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