“Hmm…What should I wear today?”
In the last 3 years, there have been two separate instances where a close friend of mine opened up to me and told me how she was violated in her childhood. Different women, living in different states. The thing is, they’ll cry when they’ll tell you about it, you’ll feel angry when you’ll hear it, you’ll feel helpless while she sobs, you might realize that if two have been through it, maybe the incidence is not as little as you first assumed. It made me feel mad enough to not want to father a daughter on this planet. Thankfully the feeling passed.
You’d be wrong to think that girls are the only ones going through this however. Last year the Penn State child sex abuse scandal came out. The football coach pretty much abused an entire generation of kids. He was found guilty on more than 50 counts of child molestation. Guys in their late 20’s cried under oath as they recited their tales, some ending with blood stained underwear. Hell, screw what you read in the papers, think of what you’ve experienced for yourself, or know of second hand. Or worst, first.
You read, see and listen long enough and you’d realize that the world you’ve been brought up in, is so very different from what you’ve been taught to believe. But please, don’t limit your thinking to just instances of child abuse. Think about rape, think about adultery, public molestation, and while we’re at it, think about stealing, about betrayal, lies, fraud, that lost trust, the broken dreams. Think about the Skeletons we all have in our closets. You reflect on things and you’d realize that almost everyone you know has done something messed up in their lives or the other. Something that they don’t want found out. Some secrets are kept, others not so much. It sucks to the point that if you keep getting to know a person for long enough, odds are, at some point you’ll start hating them. Best case scenario being you’d think that they are seriously cuckoo in the head. (Don’t mind the polite terms, blog regulation. No abuses. But you know what cuckoo here really means.)
As far as all the sexual stuff goes, I have this for you:
I read this article on cracked.com that says something about how before the dawn of agriculture, when man was a what they call a hunter-gather, humans lived in small groups and the men and the women would take multiple partners and as no one would know who’s whose kid, everyone would take care of everyone and it’ll improve the community bonding. Something that was needed a lot back then when pretty much everything in existence had the jaws, claws, fangs, hoofs, horns, teeth etc. to kill our furry, squishy little behinds.
But as man settled down, he started hoarding his belongings, and he needed to find out who his son was, because now it became a matter of inheritance. That’s the base of the whole couple loyalty, aversion towards having multiple partners, the orgies and what not. Or so the guys at Cracked told me. It also means that, basically we’re wired to sleep around. (Think of cuckoo) Or so the guys at Cracked told me.
That’s one way to look at it. To maybe explain why the incidence is so high of all the sins that you read about. But call me old fashioned, I still think that you’re supposed to settle down, find yourself a girl you love, and who loves you back and have a happy forever after. That the horrible cuckoo (multiple expletives) things that have been happening reflect something that’s at the core of our humanity while also being something abysmally wrong with it. The thing is, from what I know, and mind it I’m only 19, it’s a tall order for anyone, to have those things that actually matter.
There is some comfort in the fact that even though these things happen, whether self inflicted or forcibly, people still turn out fine sometimes. Most of the times actually. Albeit with some not so charming traits. But more or less we all learn to live with it, forever desperately trying to keep our skeletons hidden.