How to Successfully Suck Up to a College Professor

college professor
Photo by Tra Nguyen

It’s difficult to replicate the awesomeness of a great semester. But one way I’m attempting to do so is by taking another class with one of my favorite professors. She’s intelligent, inspiring, a total riot, a talented baker — plus, she gave me an A. Which is basically the reason I’m giving her another shot. (Kidding. Sort of.)

As we’re going through introductions on this semester’s first day of class, this teacher tells my fellow students about how, when asked to write down the smartest thing I said in her class last spring, I jotted, “Those were the greatest muffins I’ve ever had.” She loved it so much she even made it her Facebook status.

Breaking out a line like that, kids is one ingenious way to score a good grade.

But in case your teacher doesn’t happen to bring baked goods to class every week, there are other methods. Like writing love letters. On stained scrolls. In long, flowery cursive. Your calculus prof is sure to love that! (Kidding. For real this time.)

In reality, there are other, less creepy ways to charm your faculty members. My school has a program in which you can take a teacher out to lunch on the school’s tab. I took advantage of that once. It was a rude awakening, though, when I found out there was a $25 limit. Who knew the school wouldn’t pay for beluga caviar and butter-poached lobster?

You could also look into having your teacher talk at an extracurricular meeting or your Greek house’s chapter meeting. Rub elbows with them at departmental dinners. And, if all else fails, whip out your feathery quill, put on some classical tunes, and get to work on that letter. (Still kidding, I swear!)